Photo Dump: February Edition

It's a beautiful day here in SW VA. I'm talkin' the feels like springs a 'comin' kind of day. While I hate to wish time away, I'm glad we'll be welcoming March this week as it's the gateway to spring and all the good times and great memories that you discover in warm weather.

But before we close the book on February, I thought I'd do a photo dump of sorts for this past month. Really, all the things I didn't get around to posting on the blog.

Enjoy!

Valentine's Day

And love filled our home. Our favorite sushi joint for dinner and a gift and card exchange at home.

And Matt had a cake made for me in the shape of a box of chocolates with a sugar cookie on the side for Evelyn. Sweet, huh?

And it's become a tradition to get Evelyn' a book with a message in it from her Daddy and I for all holidays, special events, just because, etc.  So for Valentines Day we got her "How Do I Love You?" by P.K. Hallinan.  So super cute. Highly recommended!

Nights

...are still going well. For all of us.

Crawling

...is going even better. This child is into everything with her inch-worm-style-speed-crawling. Found out that our home is absolutely not baby friendly and in need of some serious baby proofing.

Playgrounds

.... have become our sanctuary.

Being a family and doing all those familyish-type outings rocks!

Blue

...looks great on her. But looking at this picture reminds me that I totally need to trim her nails.

New Work Space

I have relocated from the hard-back-aching-toy-infested living room floor to the more comfortable office with a swivel chair and a desk. More on this later. I just had to mention because I'm so excited about it. This means blogging will be so much easier and I'm sure more frequent!

Tennessee

We are back from our trip to Tennessee where we spent a few days with my best friend Taryn. See her birthday post if you don't know who I'm talking about.  This trip earns it's own post (or two!) because, yea, it was that good.

If you JUST can't wait to see what we did or some photos of the trip. Check out Taryn's blog What a Beautiful Mess where you can read all about it!  Otherwise, sit tight - photos will be up this week.

Baby is stirring from her nap and outside is a 'callin.  Have a wonderful last few days of February!

On this episode of Cribs...

Well, we did it. We have reclaimed our bedroom.

No bassinets, no pack and plays, no bouncy chairs, no basket of diapers and wipes for middle of the night diaper changes.  The only thing 'baby' that remains in our room is a toy or two left over from weekend play time, the flock of rubber duckies in our bathroom tub, a very small sock smuggled in by a very small dog, and a baby monitor keeping my girl tied to me while she sleeps…

 ...In her own bed.  That's right. It only took 7 months.

I thought it would be one of those moments where I cry hysterically all night clutching the baby monitor, running to her room every half hour to make sure she is still breathing, and making any excuse to bring her back into our room. But it wasen't… no exactly, at least.

I still lay in bed and listen to her breathe over the monitor and if I can't hear the steady rhythm, I push Matt out of  bed to go watch her chest rise and fall. I still make Matt promise me that she'll be okay every night before we go to bed. It's only natural. For peace of mind.

I have not made any excuses to bring her back to our room when I can't handle it. Mainly because I've handled it well. That, and in an effort to have my bedroom back in one piece I broke down the pack and play and moved it out into the living room, so, there is no where for her to sleep anyways since Matt has put his foot down about co-sleeping. For now.

It's strange, the de-clutter of the bedroom. We moved the furniture around before she was born to accommodate the massive amounts of baby equipment you think you need in your bedroom for a 7lb newborn who does nothing but sleep, eat, and poop and now it's an empty hole.  We need to re-rearrange and fill the gaps.

But I like it. I like walking into her bedroom on Saturday morning and watching her sleep heavy on pink and white gingham sheets in the crib that her daddy and Paw Paw built months before she was born. I like hearing her giggle, coo, and talk to herself over the monitor as she stirs awake in the rays of sunlight streaming in through the window. I like watching her gaze at the mobile I made for her with flowers, butterflies, and ribbon hanging over her and swaying in the breeze of the paddle fan.

To be honest, I wish I had done this earlier. I wish I knew that this step in my daughter growing up wouldn't result in some catastrophe but rather less creeping around in the mornings while I get ready for fear of waking her up, less stubbed toes and bruised legs from running into her pack and play in the middle of the night, and the pleasure of using the room we so lovingly prepared for her last spring that up until now, was pretty much just a baby stuff storage unit.

Oh but now, now it's the place were we tuck her in, give her kisses, and say prayers. A place for early morning play, getting ready, and snuggling while we rock in her glider. It's her bedroom.

I guess we both claimed our own rooms, and it's working out beautifully.

Happy Valentines Day!

Just dropping in to say....

Happy Valentines Day!!

Love,

The Anderson Family   xoxo

This too shall pass.

Every morning I get myself ready and leave my daughter to go to work. Sometimes she is awake, sometimes she isn't. It's the hardest part of my day.

I've been unavailable the last 2 weeks. I apologize for that. It's been a rough couple of weeks for sure. Evelyn has swayed in and out of runny noses, high fevers, rashes, persistent coughs, and irritability.
























I have been suffering from what we can only figure out to be sciatica, which if you've never felt, is a chronic pain shooting from your back down your leg when doing almost anything except laying down. And even then sometimes it hurts. I've been stressed. I've been depressed. I've been irritated. I've done very little but snuggle up to my child and wish I didn't have to say goodbye to her every morning and wishing I had more time to get the things done that are way overdue.



If you are a working mom I'm sure you know what I'm going through. I thought the worst part of returning to work after a baby was the first week back.  That is what I was told at least. That week was a breeze. I cried the first day, but I was okay after that. Now, almost four months later, I stand over top of her while she sleeps or walk out of the house while she smiles at me, and I feel bad. Guilty.
























She says "bye bye" now, but she doesn't understand what it means. To her it's just a noise she makes which sends her daddy and I into wild excitement, clapping and in shrill voices saying that she did a 'good job!' She doesn't understand that when I say 'bye bye' to her it hurts me.  That I'm leaving her for a desk and a computer and a pile of work that I'm sure would tower over me 4 times or more and grows everyday. She doesn't understand that when I'm away from her I think about her constantly, wondering what she is doing, if she is smiling, if anyone is playing with her, if anyone is singing her silly songs which she finds worthy of dancing (bobbing up and down while sitting) to, if anyone holds her close and dances with her when she cries. She has a great babysitter. But I still worry and wonder.

To her, I walk out of the room and just as quickly walk back in. Oh to be a child. She has no concept of time. But I do. I realize that she learns new things everyday and every week she looks just a little bit different. I miss a lot of it in those 10 hours away from her.
























It's much harder now than it was four months ago.

I'm tired of the working mom routine. It's made me bitter. After a day of work, I pick her up, make dinner, prepare for the next day, feed her, diaper her, bathe her, and put her to bed. There is very little time. I hate it. I'm so tired by the time I get home I'm begging for her to take a nap so that I can do nothing, if only for a half hour. That makes me feel even guiltier.

I want so badly to wake up every morning as the sun rises rather than before. I want to make both of us breakfast and watch cartoons in my robe with a cup of coffee while she plays in her oatmeal crusted jammies in the middle of the living room. I want mid-morning strolls and lunch time picnics at the park with swingsets, sliding boards,  and naps in the shade. I want to start making dinner as I clean up lunch and make crafty projects with footprints that we string up throughout the house as our own little art gallery. I want to feel good about tucking her into bed, rather than anxious about the day I have ahead.



I hate "bringing work home with me." I'm lucky I don't actually have to do my work at home after hours, but the thought of how much has to get done the next day lingers throughout my evenings and weekends. I know I should be grateful that I have a job. And I am. There are so many out there struggling to find work. My husband was one of them at one time. I know how it is.  I'm just disappointed that my dream of being a stay at home mom is not a dream that we can afford or that makes sense at this time. We have bills to pay. I have a child's future to ensure. That's the most important thing.

But I want to be less tired and more refreshed and happier with my time. I don't want to wish the week away to bring the weekend faster only to dread Sunday evenings.

As weekends are concerned, we've been packing them full. Visiting friends we haven't seen in ages, projects around the home, and trying to spend as much quality time as we can together.
























Our friends Tim and Edith.
























Edith's yummy champagne concoction.

The weather has been unseasonably warm. That snow we were supposed to get, didn't happen. Instead we've been enjoying weather in the 50's and 60's with plenty of endorphin releasing sunshine. It's light jacket and knit hat weather. It's causing me to pine for spring time even more.

I'd like to take time now to introduce our new sponsor Elizabeth Alan at The Lovely Crow for Evelyn's new hat and booties.

Right now she is offering 10% of your entire order if you use the coupon code "blogkelly" at checkout!  Please visit her Etsy shop and check out her beautiful hats and booties!

















Click HERE to visit her shop!

So while I've been absentee from blogging for a short while, I've still been working on some projects including some future giveaways.  It's been a hard few weeks but with Spring time just around the corner, there is hope. The days are getting longer, the weather is looking more promising. We even have a mini-trip coming up to visit a friend which we couldn't be more excited about. When we have time and extra money we go to the pool. We're making it.

So while I can want all I want, I'm stuck. I'm stuck learning how to be a working mom and all the emotions and uncontrollable guilt that comes along with it.

I hate that feeling.

It's okay though. With a little time this too shall pass.